When normal ends......
As I go through this journey I look back and wonder........ When did normal end and how do we get it back?
Most of us started out in our relationships caring, loving people. We reacted to unacceptable behavior, we hurt, we begged, we cried. All normal reactions when someone you love is destroying themselves and your life. Then all of a sudden you are not considered normal..........you are codependant, controlling,an enabler,a martyr and so on because you are married to an alcohlic. You are expected to do all of these abnormal things like detach from the one you love (not saying that is a bad thing), not react when they do horrendous things, pretend nothing is wrong when something is very wrong. Our normal is taken away.
Now we fast forward....we have moved on. We attempt to bring normal back from very abnormal. We ask how much do we love? Do we remain detached? If I ask "where have you been?" Is that being controlling? This is not only in dealing with a partner, but it effects dealing with parents, children and friends. I don't think people realize what damage has been done to very normal people. Yes there is now peace in our lives, but putting ourselves back together is a very complex matter. I hear people say I don't want to be that person again. Well you know what... I want to be that compasionate loving person again. I want to love freely and have an opinion. What happened when your normal was taken away?