Here are my circumstances:
1. I have a cat (yes, a cat) that is like my kid and I simply REFUSE to go anywhere and stay where I cannot take her. I have no kids, she is my kid and I will not leave her to live with him no matter what. I know that a cat is NOT worth my life, but I don't feel that MY life is threatened. I know he can stab me to death, strangle me or whatever if he wanted to kill me, but the sheer fact of NOT having a loaded gun in the house brings me more relief than you could know. I really don't think regardless of how psycho he is--- he won't kill me or himself. He is all talk and intimidation.
2. His behavior is somewhat predictable. If he ever tried to come at me in the violent ways described above, I'll get away. In fact, he would be so drunk that he wouldn't be able to walk a straight line.
3. I am getting my boss involved today. He is in real-estate and may know a place I can get into dirt cheap around here or he may be able to lend me money to get into a place fast.
4. I have a job in this town that I do not want to quit b/c of the lunatic in my life. My option of getting out now would entail-- quitting my "dream job" while I'm still paying off Ch. 13 bankruptcy, staying with my parents without my cat, working down there in a seriously depressed economy (pre-Katrina), sky high housing costs and major housing shortages b/c of Katrina.
5. There is NO place locally aside from a hotel in which I don't have the money that would except me and the cat.
6. I will not call the cops, get a restraining order, etc. unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to save my life. If I were to take those measures as a precautionary rule of thumb, AH would be EVEN ANGRIER and would THEN be hell-bent on revenge of some kind. One of his biggest concerns is HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE HIM. I wouldn't bail him out of jail or whereever, but the fact is- PEOPLE GET OUT AND WHEN THEY DO THEY ARE ANGRIER THAN HELL. A restraining order is only a piece of paper. I'm not going to live my life looking over my shoulder constantly.
I refuse to be chased out of MY OWN LIFE! I'm not giving up the thing I love most, the job I've loved the most b/c he throws a tantrum to scare the crap out of me. If you saw him today, you'd think he was "normal." He's back to "Mr. Nice Guy." I like Mr. Nice Guy and will play along with Mr. Nice Guy until 6/2/06 when I pay the last share of my portion of the rent and get the heck out of here-- quickly and quietly. I'll file for divorce after I move if I must. My main concern now is getting out as soon as I can with my cat into a permanent new home in this same town without AH flying off the deep end in the meantime. Living peacefully with him until that time is the secret to my remaining "safe" IMO.