HI, Prettywoman, just want to say I am glad you are here. I had just a couple of thoughts, they are mine, hey. You know about opinions ....
One, I know you are trying to help others and yourself. Bless you.
Two, I think you must have been terribly hurt. I'm sorry. But I am glad you have survived.
Three, for what it is worth - the reason I am still in my marriage. This is not my first relationship with an A. Big surprise, eh? Before I handled it different ways, gradulally improving but in the end I always left. I thought I had learned my lesson but sooner or later, I found myself getting involved with another A. That is because I hadn't changed. I still had the same problems, I still made the same choices.
What is it that they say, that you have to keep repeating the lesson until you finally learn?
So here I am again, same situation. This time I am going to face it. I am not going to run away. I am going to stay and do what I have to do to solve my own problems. That is the only way things are going to be okay for me. Face it.
Also - I love my husband very much and he loves me. Things can get bad but very seldom is there any flat out meanness. Of course, any is too much and it is so distressing. But there are also parts of our life together that are very good. Every situation is different.
If it turns out I am wrong, well, every day is a new day. We get lots of chances.
PS. Of course, if the situation is dangerous, you have to leave.