I find this very interesting and quite powerful recovery reading. This is from Doug Kelly at http://www.nonalcoholic.org/articles/denial.htm, April 2006 This is only a potion but I would encourage reading the full story at the nonalcoholic website. Denial is powerful stuff!
“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O:P> </O:P>
—Bill Watterson, American Author of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes<O:P> </O:P>
Of all the known traits of human nature, one in particular stands out as the most pervasive and one of the most dangerous: Denial. To one extent or another, every person on this planet suffers from denial in one form or another. Right now, you are almost invariably suffering from denial in some form concerning your alcoholic relationship. Some people in alcoholic relationships are in less denial than others, but the fact remains that the biggest obstacle by far to the alcoholic’s recovery and especially to your own is denial. Never underestimate the human capacity for denial. We humans are uniquely capable of fooling ourselves. In fact, some almost make it an art.<O:P> </O:P> Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary (© 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.) defines “denial” as “a psychological defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality.” Notice some real-world variations on this definition: • Denial is the mental ability to block knowledge you don’t want to face.<O:P> </O:P> • Denial is a defense mechanism to avoid responsibility by rejecting reality.<O:P> </O:P> • Denial is a way to live with oneself while living a lie.<O:P> </O:P> • Denial is lying to oneself to avoid doing or believing something painful or uncomfortable.<O:P> </O:P> • Denial is lying to oneself about a painful reality in order to avoid making difficult decisions and taking appropriate <O:P>responsibility.<O:P> </O:P> • Denial is resistance to change.<O:P> </O:P> • Denial is the mind’s attempt to rationalize painful realities.<O:P> </O:P> Do any of these definitions hit home with you? In order to better understand traits and issues such as denial on a fundamental level, I endeavor to break them down to their base form. It’s like peeling the layers of an onion away until you arrive at its core. With this approach in mind, here is my definition of denial:<O:P> </O:P> Denial is a subconscious coping and defense mechanism that provides a person with a psychologically bearable method to: 1. Avoid making difficult life-changes by rationalizing and/or rejecting a painful reality; 2. Living with oneself while living a lie. In short, denial means, “Lying to oneself to evade responsibility.<O:P> </O:P> When we engage in denial it means that we either should or should not do a particular thing, and we proceed to rationalize and justify (fool ourselves) the reasons for either doing or not doing it. When we rationalize, we lie to ourselves. When we do or don’t do something we ought to do or not do, we evade responsibility. Therefore, at the core, denial means lying to oneself to evade responsibility.<O:P style="MARGIN: 0px"> </O:P> <O:P style="MARGIN: 0px"></O:P> <O:P style="MARGIN: 0px"></O:P> <O:P style="MARGIN: 0px"></O:P>
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