Meg,
I have to agree with everyone. Let him decide. You can't control him.
I wish I had something else wise to say but I don't. My husband is now over 70 days sober. He has encountered invitations to retirement parties (but found excuses not to attend. He says that he is not ready for that yet). He is not comfortable telling others that he does not drink (other that people in AA).
One thing though - he has another addiction. FISHING!!! We joke that before we got married I signed a blood oath that he would be 'allowed' to go fishing at least once a week for the rest of his life. He usually goes with his brother and their friends. Of course his brother knows about his situation. We also figured that his brother told some of his friends because after they fish they usually go back to one friend's house while they clean fish and drink (beer and homemade wine - yikes!!!). We'll the friend now offers my husband soda. Fortunately, he has gone fishing a few times and he is actually still able to enjoy himself without drinking. It is a big relief off my mind too because depending on where they decide to fish - it could be a long drive home.
I believe that I have to let him go fishing. This is something he loves to do. He quit drinking and smoking this year. He NEEDS to have a way to be himself and relax.
NoDoubt