relapse?
Your post brought to mind the THREE C's...didn't CAUSE it, can't CONTROL it...and can't CURE it.
When i tried to manipulate the way he lived his life, I ahd to remind myself..there is not one thing I can do if he decides to relapse. A camping trip...a wedding reception...might be red alert areas for some people...but there are also some who can interact there and not let it get to them. They can go with the gang and not imbibe.
I was not powerful enough to get mine to stop...and if he relapses one day, I KNOW it will not be anyting I did or anything I coudl have done to manipulate him into it not happening. In the opening...this is what i think they mean by "trying to force solutions".
So sit back..let him go on the trip...try not to obsess about the what-ifs...and instead use that time to go to an AlAnon retreat or at least some extra meetings. Working on myself and avoiding interferring with his choices, sure made my life alot happier.
LIN