Im not sure if this is what your refering too but.....
Toward the end of my relationships ... there was always a time when a calm came over me, where I detached enought to take a "outside" look at things.... where I was not part of the chaos and just felt like I had done all I could do.
It was detachment for me, and not detaching with love, it was just detachment. The realtionships ended fairly shortly after because the "emotion" was not there.