Hi Winelover,
Thank you for coming in here and opening up. I learn so much from your process.I'vee been struggling abit lately, off and on, and your post has reminded us of the down side...the bad feelings...after a relapse.
Please know you can keep putting sober time together and watch it grow inside of your mind.It will be worth the difficult time you are going through right now.
I send you heaps of support!