Hi TG,
I understand that you don't need him financially to support you, but yes it is truly scary to think that you really might not be able to make ends meet. I don't think the others are trying to be harsh, I think they just want you to look at reasons and for you to not 'stay' out of fear. Fear of not making it, or of what others think, etc...
I think you need to sit and talk with your husband. You should talk about the job, you should talk about your relationship, you should talk about what is going on in your life! This is going to effect his life too. Do you have to have the job, before you talk to him b/c you think he's going to throw you out or something? Or is that your escape if you don't like his answers?
Good luck with making any decisions. Hope you hear something soon.