(((Vic))) I came to SR everyday for 7 months before I got clean. I tried. Couldnt do it. Sure, I could get a few days here and there. But, I just couldnt stay clean for any amount of time. I was convinced I was a hopeless case. 6 years of meetings and I couldnt hardly stay clean a day. I came here and talked the talk and felt like a hypocrite. I still had reservations and didn't realize it. I had not completely surrendered and didn't realize it. I could not live like that anymore. I was done. But, I couldnt live without drugs either. Or so I thought. On May 25th 2005, I had enough. I decided if it took going to any lengths to get clean and stay clean, I would. I had to make my recovery the most important thing in my life. I had to get rid of my reservations. There had to be nothing that could be an excuse to use. NOTHING!!!! And I had to surrender. COMPLETELY!!! Yes, I thought I was a loser. Hopeless. Saturday I had 10 months. MY DOC was Crack. I cant tell you exactly how I did what I did. I can however give you a few suggestions. First, do you have a job? If not, get one. Even if it's at McDonalds. Get