With alcohol and drugs I can temporarily escape these feelings.
Hi, I'm Sharon and I'm an Alcoholic. I drank too for years to escape or numb feelings. And now they want u to learn how to feel them sober. That is a big task, but it can be done. I didn't know how to feel for so long without having a substance in my body. If I got angry, upset, nervous, anxious, it was easy to numb those feelings. We get so use to it that we don't know how to really feel. It's like wearing a mask. We don't want people to really see our true feelings. I wore a mask for a long time. It's call make-up. : ) I remember in treatment they wanted me to not wear make-up for a day. No way i said, but i tried. At least leave off the lip stick and blush. : ) Today im still that way, i can't not go without it. Oh, well....But today, i am sober and I'm still learning how to be honest about my feelings. For you to take it one day at a time or one minute at a time to not drink or drug is a miracle. When i got home after my 28 day stay in rehab I was scared. But....I was given the tools of recovery and used the suggestions given to me. My first step was admitting i had a drinking problem, then accepting it, then believeing in Something greater than me to help me stay sober. That Something can be a sponsor, or the group as a whole or anything u wish. If u have ur desire chip in hand, put it between ur teeth as i sometimes heard and bite down on it till the urge to drink passes. Don't stay at home thinking about it, but go to a meeting. Even if its 90 meetings in 90 days. U don't have to talk if u dont want to, listen for awhile till u begin to hear the messages of hope. There have been many hopeless cases in AA that have managed to stay sober and you can too as long as u have the desire to stay sober. Don't forget to say "PLEASE" in the morning to ur HP to help u stay sober during the day and "THANK YOU" at night before bed for keeping u sober. Good Luck.
Thanks for letting me share.