Hi, Congratulations on your sobriety and 33 days is great!
Dealing with the reality bit is really hard. I used alcohol for several years to get through stuff I thought I couldn't get through otherwise. I was wrong, of course, it made things worse. But, we've gotten used to numbing our feelings and we have to learn to get through real life without anything to change our feelings. It's hard, but you can do it. Be patient with yourself.