MG,
I sounds as tho you need, then, to go back to accepting your powerlessness in regards to his disease. And accepting the fact that it IS a disease with symptoms, available treatment, and a prognosis (jail, insitution, death) if left untreated.
If you know you would feel blame if death became a reality, that is where you need to return.
When I finally truly accepted my absolute powerlessness over the progression of his disease death was a part of that.
Acceptance is the key!
JT