Originally Posted by JessicaNAJ
You know, i was talking to my mom today, she said she went through the same things as I am with me dad. She said her actions were very similar to mine. hmmm...just something for me to think about.
Lets think this through a little....
You reacted based on learned codie behavior.
Do you want your kids to learn the same lessons from you that you learned from your Mother?
Do you think your children would benefit from ending the cycle with you and not passing it on to the next generation?
Would this realization be enough motivation for you to stop and think before reacting in kind again?
Originally Posted by ASpouse
Start thinking "if I do this what are the possible consequences to this behavior later, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?"
I would start with an even more manageable approach... say like: Don't think about the proper reaction at all! It's very hard to get a grip on learned knee jerk reactions subconsciously driven. No reaction is a valid reaction. As you start to make progress on stopping the knee jerk, then think about consequences later. Jess this has worked for me, thought I would share. As I got good at not reacting, I found that that really was the best reaction in my scenario.