Thanks Fed Up,
No no no, you didn't come off as a ****** at all!
It's hard for me to take compliments, but I KNOW the strength it takes to have survived under the cicumstances... so Thank You... Most times I DO feel strong.
One thing I got from other responses here was MY role in these friendships. Yup, I guess if this bothers me, I need to TELL them... maybe it's partly my fault.
I am learning a lot about my codependant self; some of my issues include my inability to communicate my feelings and needs / wants to those close to me. I expect them to come running when I am need, but I give them no indication of how I am feeling and why.
I am feeling better today (of course).
All of you helped so much by allowing me to put things in perspective.
Take care,
Meg