G's getting evicted.
I may sound as if I'm stronger....well actually I feel stronger, but then this happens and I'm feeling things again.
Guess what my first reaction was *i'm ducking* Yep...I called. Guess what? Got his voice mail and left a message.
I'm sad. Sad b/c he'd rather live this life with "dirt bags" (sorry) than with us, his family. Sad b/c he's let his life get so unmanageable that he's being evicted!!! Sad b/c he may loose everything he's worked to get in the last two years.
And I'm mad at myself for wasting $500 bucks to put toward his rent (part of the income tax money). gawd....what an idiot (me).
I DON'T GET IT!!! IT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME AT ALL. Does it have too? Why can't I just accept his choices? Well, a part of me does and really really wants to move on and is working really hard to move on. But when I think about the situation, I feel sad. How can I stop myself from thinking?
((deep breath))...I'm ok. I'm not going to call anymore. If he wants me to know about his eviction, he'll tell me. Right? That is, if he calls back (which I'm sure he won't).
help me out guys.....you know my CoDeness is kicking right now.
I need to focus on what he's not doing and not how sad his situation is. NO....I take that back, I need to focus on me and how my needs aren't being met. I can't feel sorry for him and let myself be walked on again. I'm not going to do it....no no no no!!!!
Really, I'm ok....I think.
[email protected] did I call him??????