Thank you all so much for your posts. I've had a long week of working nights and taking care of the kids during the day so I'm feeling pretty exhausted today. I talked to dh on the phone earlier. He wants me to be positive and supportive. I'm, quite honestly, enjoying my time away from him (detaching) but also terribly confused about what I'm feeling.. how I should handle things and what does the future hold. So many questions are running through my mind. How can I be supportive now that he's in recovery, yet still allow myself the space I need from him right now? and if I don't give him the support he says he needs, how will that affect "us" in the long term. What will it be like when he comes home? Can I ever fall in love with him again? Today I was thinking about it all and I just said to myself "I'm just so angry at him for what he's done and everything that's happened" and while I don't really understand the real depth to all the pent up anger, it still felt so good to say that to myself. I can feel the anxiety come back when I think about him completing his program and the pressure I'm going to feel from him to have things perfect in our life now that "he's done his part". Things aren't perfect and they're not going to be for a long time. He's going to be home, not working for 5 months minimum after he gets out. He's lost his license so I'll have to do all the driving for the kids, etc. I just have so much to sort out and I don't know when or how to do it.
Thanks again for your posts! It helps so much just to tell someone about it. Maybe with enough talking I can start to understand what's going on.
