Old 03-23-2006, 01:46 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Kellye D
Here is my view as a recovering alcoholic. I WOULD be very cautious and I would observe that person and try to determine how strong their program is. Things I would take into consideration, do they attend meetings regularly? Do they have a sponsor and do they use them? Do they seem to have the ability to meet life on life's terms?

Personally I would not get involved with someone who is early in sobriety. I would want them to have a minimum of a couple of years sober and working a program. I would also make it very clear in setting the boundary that if they relapsed I would immediately remove myself to protect my own sobriety. For me, my sobriety is my top priority in life and it comes before relationships.

I hope when I find someone else that they ARE in AA because at least then I will know that they will understand how I'm trying to live my life today and why.
Kellye,

Thanks for sharing your views. You bring up many good points I hadn't pin-pointed yet. Like, it's 'how' they are working their recovery, not just 'how long' for starters.

The boundary you mentioned regarding relapse is an imperative one, but, hard to do when emotionally involved. I guess strong recovery makes that easier to do, not easy, but easier!
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