Elizabeth,
I think what I identify with in your post is perfectionism...I used to be much more of a perfectionist but for me,I wasn't very happy to live that way..
My standards are always WAY higher then anyone elses...Sometimes I dont' even live up to my own standards and then berate myself for that..
oh the never ending circle..
it's easier today for me to just focus on the present..doesn't mean I can't plan for my future, it just means I can't control the outcome..