Elizabeth, I can relate to the control and the list thing. I am the same way. I think it becomes harmful only if it hurts you. If you get overly upset when something unexpected happens, or feel victimized when a wrench gets thrown into your plans. Nothing wrong with planning, as long as we can also "roll with the punches" that life throws us.
Or maybe I'm just justifying my own controlling nature by identifying with you............
L