where am i in recovery?
My name is MIKE. I am an addict in recovery. Ihave been doing drugs for 8 years. I am currently 24 years of age. I own a house, am engaged to be married, and have 2 kids. My addiction started back when I was 16. I have a very addictive personality by nature and got cought up in drinking and smoking pot along with some mild pain killers such as percocets and vikadin. By 17 I was drinking a 12 pack and a pint every night,along with a couple of blunts,and whatever else I could come up with. then started with the acid, mushrooms, opium, hash, snow balling myself into a toxic avenger by adding 400mg of oxycontine and or heroin, and at least 100 dollars of cocaine into my daily routine. Beleive it or not I was the top automobile technition in my shop and besides the unbeleivible amout of money spent, it was not really affecting my life on the surface. Then came crack. I came to love crack and quickly grew to hate it. within 3 months I lost my job,my respect, my integrity, and almost my family. Now I am doinng ok in my eyes, I am totaly clean most of the time,and I'm talking about no beer, no weed,no heroin,no pills,no acid,nothing. But the pattern is about once a week to a week and a half I succumb to some sort of powerful force and find myself smoking 20 to 50 dollars in crack. Then the next day I am back in my recovery for another week or week and a half. this has been going on for 7 weeks. I was smoking a couple hundred dollars a day. I need to kick it for good before I lose everything I know and love. My wife and mother have been very supportive, but just don't understand fully what a drug addict feels or goes through in ones fight for recovery. Does anyone have any suggestions.