Hi! Your story is very similar to mine 20 years ago. Unfortunately, I guess I wasn't smart enough to seek out information until after we were married. The first thing that came to my mind while reading your post is the fact that you are looking for education and support.
Reading about the your situation in social settings, and the late night fights brought up a lot of memories for me.
My A husband was, and still is sometimes, my best friend and "soul mate." He swept me off my feet. Funny, charming, intelligent, life of the party......then it started to get ugly and alcohol made his life, and mine, unmanageable.
I jumped into Alanon early in our marriage and read everything about alcoholism that I could get my hands on. I purchased the first edition of Melody Beatties' "Co-Dependent No More" when it was first published and it's been with me for nearly 16 years.
I'm not an expert, but if I were in your situation, as I was 22 years ago, I would check into local Alanon groups for support and knowledge. Alcoholism is a PROGRESSIVE illness. I can say that I believe I've become a more empathetic and sometimes stronger person for choosing to live with an alcoholic husband. Had I known then, what I know now......would I have made the same decisions??????.......I don't know.
Take care of yourself.....
Sarah