Thanks for the replys everyone!
Minnie, not heartless. I'm glad he is too. At least it shows he's thinking about what's happened. Not only that, but for once he's taking the responisbility for it, not blaming everyone else. It's funny because it's not like when you are talking to someone going through this and they kind of exaggerate how bad things are and you can tell them it's not that bad. With him it is that bad. He did royally screw things up no exaggeration necessary. I'm just hoping he separates that he DID screw up and not that he has to CONTINUE to screw things up. All I could say really was that 36 years of his life didn't go they way they could have, but he has possibly 60+ more that all he can do is make sure they don't go the same way. 36 years is a small chunk when you look at it that way.
The stuff with him being overwhelmed and the "fog" is bizarre to watch. It's like he quit drinking and started on drugs. Before anyone says maybe his is on drugs, he's not. He's always been an A with a strong opposition to drugs. It's kind of like watching someone with a tonne of focus, but yet no focus at all. He is doing the right things as far as fixing what needs to be fixed, I can't really explain much more than that because some of it really is his private business and it's not my business to say what it is, I just hope the drinking part is the priority.
Actually Equus, I think there is a mental health problem that's been there all along. I could always tell when the big binges were coming because he got in a "mood". Same mood as he's in now actually but the big difference is before our incident he just got in the mood and did nothing but feel sorry for himself. This is the first time he's actually doing something to fix all the stuff he felt sorry for rather than wallow in it till he drank himself stupid. I will try mentioning the doctor again. He's been in tears 4 times now this month and seriously, he's not a known dramatic!
I'm trying to stay out of all this but as you can see, I did get pulled in a bit. I'm trying not to pry, if he starts talking about it I listen and I guess I am guilty of a few suggestions but I'm really trying not to control what's going on. To his credit, he's not really asking me to "help" him either. He seems pretty content speaking about most of it at his meetings.