((((StandingStrong)))))
Having this realization is an important step. My AH and I actually had a discussion last night in which he wanted to play "the blame game" and he took stabs at my character that he knew would infuriate me. Surprisingly, I handled it pretty well and as Nutz said, I just sat back and thought in my mind, "you are incapable of understanding me- it's not your fault really- we're just that different." I really realized and vocalized to him last night that I don't blame him for anything at this point. It really HAS always been just "him being him." It was unnatural (codie) for me to think I and/or my love could somehow change him.
There is a point when you just know that it is over. You are no longer willing to bend over backwards to have a semi-peaceful existance with him. You are too far along in your own recovery and finally seeing things clearly. He feels like "he's just having fun" and does not need any sort of help. It simply will not work.
I wish you the best and please stay strong when dealing with him face to face. Remember that your main focus is you and that you deserve it. Know that you have an entire support group of people here that understand you and are praying for your well-being.