partnerofaca

I am the partner of an adult child of an alcoholic mother..whose family was
also mentally,physically and emotionally abusive..he was beaten by his mum,
two brothers and a freind once for a laugh, but as the eldest child he was
also the one who looked after his brothers and seemed the 'clown' to
entertain etc..his father left them he had the usual promises his dad was
coming to visit but then he was let down..his dad beat his mum and him and
hisbrothers and they pretty much grew up drinkning smoking taking drugs from
ages 5 up.. thankful to say my partner now smokes this is it and considering
his past he is a kind man

he has never sought help with his past as he says he is scared as to what
they will tell him. and always cancels the appoinments...im finding it
extemely hard to deal with the one minute intimate then next distant
behaviour as i findit hardnot to take it personal..i have looked on the
internet but only found one site which still did nothave much information
about the parters of ACOA.

We have been together 11 years on and off my partner is 29 we have a 6yr old
boy and our relationship has always been up and down.. he has also since i
can remember been saying how he has a feeling that he cant explain but its
something that doesnt feel right..like something is missing..its a
feeling..i was upset to read a poem he wrote about me as he said he has a
beautiful son and his wonderful mother but still he's got the lot is this
all there is to his life..it has really upset i dont know where to go for
information...i want us to work i love him dearly.

the past in unmentioned..everyone gets onbut it
all seems to be unmentioned..

any help or advise you could give would be of great help as i just feel that
we are going round in circles..and the deep seated issues are the reasons
behind it..im patient with him but i really miss and want to us to be
intimate and close instead of up and down can you help???


or point me in the right direction?

thank you