mallowcup - I truly feel for you in your situation. Thankfully apart from a few islolated vents of frustration D didn't blame me - at least not more than I would sometimes unfairly blame him!!
I don't want to go into it and I realise the way it's written here might be a bit confusing but enough to say if I was dumped on D was even more so! We live in a country where our health service is supposed to be free but no-one tells you various sections of it can argue forever about who should actually provide the service, or that doctor's referals can be simply sent back without anyone actually assessing the need face to face. Each re-referal starts the 13 week waiting guideline clock ticking from zero, meanwhile his life fell apart. We had the joys of unqualified addiction help shouting at him that he WOULD relapse one week, then a new counsellor saying he was doing very well the next, a frustrated doctor ashamed of the treatment he wasn't getting and my doc describing our situation as intolerable and inhumane (damn fine description in my book!!).
Through all of that D did have lapses but no full relapse, he always returned again for help, each time a bit less able to deal with what was happening. He, me and his doc decided it wasn't realistic for him to handle a complaint procedure so confidentiality was signed over for me to do it. Finally after the prequal to a full on complaint (a liason service) we got a date for help. Although no certainty with it - the nurse above had told D's doc she was going to re-refere him back where the doc had originally.
Had D not fought for all he was worth he'd never have got as far as a second appointment with the CPN, had I not finally realised daunted or not I had to take time from work and be at home I'm not sure he'd even have got to that first appointment. Had we not had an entire practice of GP's backing our complaint and meeting with the team constantly refusing D I doubt he'd have got any appointment! On top of that we had a HUGE stroke of luck which probably did as much as all the rest put together!!
So however small it may seem - we now have one more proffessional onside, with a phone number, with an open invitation - even instruction to ring!
But right now things are so good all we need it for is a safety net - if not for all the above it'd probably have been too damn little too damn late.