Hi Spedteach,
I am always amazed at how our lives here seem so similar. My husband is an A and an addict, and he has been admitted and working on recovery for about 1 1/2 years. He has been in a treatment centre once, and back and forth to meetings and counsellors etc.
In the end of March I finally began to grow weary and find acceptance in my situation... After 3 days of drinking and drugging and spending $5000 out of our business, getting our truck impounded, my husband was out of control. I had to made some boundaries for my own sanity and peace of mind. I kicked him out, with the words "I can no longer live with an active Alcoholic... When / If you are ready to seek recovery, we can talk about it".
My hubby hit a bottom that weekend, and has had a bumpy road ever since. He is NOT using right now, and we are living together again.
I wanted to share this, to make you feel more "at home"... WE are all so good for each other on these boards, because we have all "been there" in one way or another. My A has dissapointed the kids MANY times... Hockey games, soccer practices, movie nights... dissapearing for 3 days. The only way I can get thru it, WITHOUT using the GUILT on him, is to be there 100% for my kids. I am their MOM, not their DAD... but I can do so many things with them. We have a special relationship with each other too. When I get down about this, It helps me to imagine my boys as adults.... Seeing how kind, gracious, fun and loving they are BECAUSE of how I raised them. There are TWO parents for our children... I am going to be the best mom I can
. As sad as it makes US feel that our A's aren't always there for their children, it is sadder for THEM. They are sick.
I am so glad to have heard a little about you... and welcome!
Meg