Thanks for the replys..it is early Sunday morning (6:30ish ET) and I did sleep well last night..my husband however, did not come home so I am assuming he stayed at mommys house last night. I know that I should be glad that he didn't get in a car and drive, but I think the whole situation is pathetic...why does a 32 year old man need to stay at his mom's house when he has a house of his own, a wife and a child at home waiting for him?? Oh well, that's something he has to deal with...
I did do some thinking last night and I know for now, I am going to go on living and I am going to spend as much time with my son doing what he likes to do and make sure he knows how much I love him..he's just so innocent and that's what's hard to take. Someone said to me that my husband will be the one that realizes what he's missing out on and that he's only hurting himself...well, while I do agree with that, he's also hurting our son...and I know how that can mess kids up...I teach and have seen enough kids that deal with issues because mom or dad are around, but they put various things before their kids...work, boyfriends or girlfriends, friends, drugs, alcohol, you name it. I don't want that for my son but since my husband is the only one that can control his behavior, I have vowed that I'll be everything I can for my son and make sure he doesn't miss out on ANYTHING!
As for me, well, I am pretty calm and rational and really, while I am angry..I don't want to rip his head off anymore..I am at the point that I know he'll beat himself up more then anything I can say or do...and I am not going there as I am NOT going to become his excuse for drinking...I heard that I was a nag for long enough...I have my boundaries set..in my head at least..if he hurts himself or anyone else (driving when drunk, because he IS superman you know), gets arrested or loses his job..he's done....I can not and will not go through that AGAIN with him. I know I need to be tough and firm, which I will, but I am not going to threaten him, it'll just be fact if anything is to happen.
Again, thanks for the responses!