Milla- It is so good that you are sharing your story and seeking advice. Your story has been written a thousand times in the book of addiction. I have written my own similar story with someone with a severe addiction in my past.
at this point I really and truly get it... there is nothing i can do to get him clean. i may even be hurting him by always being there.
he is constantly in denail and always lying to himslef and me...
he tells me he is doing it for me
I think you have all the answers to your story. Read your own posts again.
This is a very serious situation. Have you and his family ever considered an intervention? I think your BF knows he has a serious problem and probably truely wants to get better but it doesn't sound to me like he has alot of boundries in his support network. - in an intervention setting-that's what you do-set your boundries and lay them out on the table with the support of all involved. This is only a suggestion.
I wonder what boundries you set for yourself and what you need in all of this. I am saddened by both of your suffering and pray that you both may find better days-individualy and or collectively.