Guilt...argh!
Hi...
I am wondering how to handle my guilt when I say no to my alcoholic friend, whenever she says she needs to borrow money, usually due to the fact that she spent it on booze. She will bring up money, and then say its her fault for spending it on booze, but shes hungry etc...and there is something about the way she says it that makes me feel obligated to help. Then I get resentful underneath, because it is her problem, and she doesnt change... I know giving her the money is a form of enabling...but I find it hard to say no to her, just because I feel sorry for the fact that she has little support in general, and is going through a hard time right now, her parents arent there for her that way etc. I know alcoholics are experts at guilt and manipulation, and Ive fallen for the song and dance so many times. I wish I could assert myself better...any suggestions? Guilt and obligation run my life a lot. How can I be there for her without sacrificing my feelings and myself?