Hello Jewel.
I guess the courts in the UK are pretty similar to the ones here. Unless he bashed a police officer on the way to jail, or they discovered he was wanted for something else... well... what he did would not merit much punishment over here. Thinking about prison is tying yourself up in knots unecessarily. Warrants, arrests and convictions are a matter of public record in the US. They are always in the newspaper, and you can also call the courts and get the information. Surely it's not so different where you live.
You did the only thing you could do, Jewel. Letting violence escalate can result in events that DO lead to prison. If it were someone else's son you might say he was right where he belongs. Cooling off where he can see what the consequences of his actions might be.
There's no reason you should go to court if you don't want to. But it doesn't do a lot of good to keep your body at home if your mind is in jail with your son. You can do something to get your mind off of it... or you can go (or call) to find out what's going on so you can stop imagining the worst... and then get your mind off of it.
As to your sister's kid's versus yours... maybe you will enjoy these lyrics from
The Fantasticks by Tom Jones, Harvey Schmidt and Michael Ritchie.
PLANT A RADISH
Plant a radish.
Get a radish.
Never any doubt.
That's why I love vegetables;
You know what you're about!
Plant a turnip.
Get a turnip.
Maybe you'll get two.
That's why I love vegetables;
You know that they'll come through!
They're dependable!
They're befriendable!
They're the best pal a parent's ever known!
While with children,
It's bewilderin'.
You don't know until the seed is nearly grown
Just what you've sown.
So
Plant a carrot,
Get a carrot,
Not a Brussels sprout.
That's why I love vegetables.
You know what you're about!
Life is merry,
If it's very
Vegetarian!
A man who plants a garden
Is a very happy man!
Plant a beanstalk.
Get a beanstalk.
Just the same as Jack.
Then if you don't like it,
You can always take it back!
But if your issue
Doesn't kiss you,
Then I wish you luck.
For once you've planted children,
You're absolutely stuck!
Every turnip green!
Every kidney bean!
Every plant grows according to the plot!
While with progeny,
It's hodge-podgenee.
For as soon as you think you know what kind you've got,
It's what they're not!
So
Plant a cabbage.
Get a cabbage.
Not a sauerkraut!
That's why I love vegetables.
You know what you're about!
Life is merry
If it's very
Vegetarian.
A man who plants a garden
Is a very happy man!
A vegitari-
Very merry
Vegetarian!
____
Hugs,
Smoke