Hi there..Im new here…but not new to the disease of alcoholism…I have been recovering now for 9 years…I am the child of an alcoholic home… and suffer from typical issues…no boundries, feeling responsible for everyone and their feelings…blah blah blah…and I am watching my best friend spiralling downward as her disease is progressing. Suffering from it, and watching it are two different things, and now I am seeing myself through different eyes…and wondering how I can best be there without enabling the illness and making things worse instead of better.
She openly admits she is alcoholic…and is on and off the wagon… quitting and giving up hope and going back, one step forward, and two back…sigh…the real person, hiding beneath the veil of the disease is wonderful, and I love her dearly. The addiction is ugly and miserable, selfish. We had a bad argument this week, because I made the mistake of trying to talk to her when her disease had a hold of her…anyway, she has admitted that she has a problem, and is alcoholic, but aa turns her off...and on top of this is seeing a counsellor because she had been raped last year (this of course has aggravated the addiction) I am trying to hold on and be supportive, but I am also afraid of losing her and her friendship. You read about tough love and stuff, but it is very hard for me to assert myself at times. Any suggestions on how to manage myself around her as she is trying to get clean…
a lot of my friends and family look down their noses at the fact that I am close to a struggling addict, even though I was there myself years ago. It is hard dealing with the moods surrounding the addiction…and watching her appear and disappear as the addiction continues to pull her down and up…how can I be there for her without losing myself, and am I a fool? I fight with these questions daily…any advice?