As I see it, my other option is to turn over the different possibilites in my mind. Or to ask the person if there is anything going on, get the answer and then turn over and over in my mind if I think it is true or not. (I've done that and done that and done that)
And the only way to "know" all these answers .... well, there is no way truly to know. So, I believe for myself I have to accept that reality and look at my options.
Am I in a relationship with someone I don't trust?
Hmmm maybe I have reason to not trust this person.
If that's true, maybe I need to do something else.
Am I important enough to be with someone I trust?
Important questions for me.
The fear of abandonment and the pain of rejection caused me to not be able to know what to do for many years of my life. I worked under the radar all those years, trying to keep myself safe by anticipating peoples' actions, etc. It made me sick. It made me so unhappy. I deserve happiness. I only have begun to change in Alanon. I don't have all the answers, I know though, that living with someone who I don't trust just tells Vonnie that her happiness is not really very important.
Today I know that my happiness is really very important.
Vonnie