*****Warning Warning - Rambling Post Ahead!!!! *****
I have been thinking about this stuff all night. So many different thoughts are going through my head...
(((((((Steph)))))))
I have been blown away by everyone's story here. I guess I'm still in denial too b/c my story just doesn't seem very....significant. When I speak of certain events, I'm very detached. I'm over my anger and I've forgiven my parents, but I think I'm too early in my recovery to feel any guilt for talking about it. Well that and the fact that it just doesn't seem all that bad...what all of you guys have been through seems so much worse to me.
My dad's mom was/is very abusive, so I know where he got it from. She's 90 years old and makes everyone's life miserable. My dad has stopped his abuse and he recently took back his power from his mom, who has been abusing him for 60 years. Sometimes people "get it" early in my life, sometimes it takes a little longer, and sometimes they never do.
My mom has not changed. She's still very critical. When I'm around her, I feel that detachment come over me, especially when she's criticizing me about something. It's almost like an out of body experience, like I'm watching her and me interact. I think it's some sort of protective barrier I've set up to keep her words from hurting me. I guess it was my way of taking back my power from her.
(Crazy conversation I had with mom on Mother's Day:
"Mom, I recently had my eyebrows waxed."
"What?!?! Why would you do that to yourself?"
"Cause I wanted to."
"Well I just can't believe you would do that."
Then my sister-in-law says to mom, "Don't you get your eyebrows done?"
Mom says, "Yeah, I get them done all the time!!!!!")
:bojo: