Tough love got me clean. However, full detachment would have probably led to my death. So I say tempered love.
You have people like my grandfather who ended his life while still taking care of my mother in every way possible. Among his last words to me were "Don't take care of her, as I have done."
My mom is an addict and nothing will get her clean. She ended up selling her home because if she did, she can stay in a resthome because they will give her her DOC. I am in very limited contact with her, because she will use and abuse me just like she did her father. Anything to get her drugs.
There are different levels of addiction. Some are so addicted that when you talk to them, you really are only talking to the addiction. Others like me are still here, just hidden underneath. When you told me you loved me, the "old" me would hear it under the addiction. But my mother, she'd never hear it unless it meant she could manipulate me to get more drugs.