What I am getting out of this is what Live said way up there. Give it up? Did I ever have it?
As an infant and a toddler the adults have the power. They set the rules and the boundaries. If that is done dysfuntionally we never learn true limits. Everything I read about kids says that they appreciate stucture and to know what the limits are. In my life it varied from day to day. What my parents laughed about one day got me in trouble the next.
As I became older I rebelled and exerted power (or so I thought) I became involved with people and situations where I gave up my power. I turned to drugs and alcohol myself...there but for the grace of God...
Now I am remembering a time when my mother was dating her soon to be second husband and I came home after being out with friends. His car was in the drive but the house was dark. I walked in and they jumped off the couch. Nothing bad...just making out. I told my mother the next day that if I ever pulled up to a dark house again with his car there I would not come in. I was 16. Not earth shattering but I smile when I think of the nerve I had to talk to my mom that way.
Falso bravado and empty ultimatums. Not power. Dr Phil talks about those defining moments being the ones where were one person before and another after. That might have been one of them. It was clear that my world had changed.
Hugs,
JT