Definitely Margo, I think people who have gone through adversity have a deeper sense of empathy. I know that I do and I have always liked the fact that I have so much compassion for others. In thinking about my children, I watch my friend push school and so forth. Personally I would feel more successful if I were to instill empathy and compassion in my children even as opposed to straight A's in school. I think it's more important. Now my husband didn't go through any kind of trauma as a child although he did in his 20's but he is one of the least empathic people I know.
In regard to your other question. For me I don't think it is my ability to empathize that attracted me to an addict. I think, for me, it's because I didn't feel worthy of being treated really well and I think overall people are attracted to and feel more comfortable with what they know best.