Mysty....my heart goes out to you. There is nothing quite like the irresponsibility and self-centeredness of an A.....drunk or, at times, sober. And it's amazing how the pain of the memories of these "events" lingers with us. I really respect you for getting angry and making the decision you did shortly after that incident. That's what I'm working on now in my recovery process....I have been unable to get angry or show anger---EVER, and cannot say one simple word...NO. I'm working on that, but it ain't easy. I have this stupid need to please people 100% of the time, and worry about having approval from others. You did good, woman.
Those are the type of warning signals that I was referring to. When my H drinks, he starts out euphoric, and happy to the point where we are all looking at each other like....."...he's nuts!" He's too happy, believes he owns the world His actions and emotions are exaggerated. Then, later on during his binge, he becomes moody, beligerant (sp?) , argumentative, "dopey eyed", sweaty, the list goes on and on.....
After I finally spilled the beans and talked to them about Dad being an alcoholic, they brought up incidents and situations to me where Dad may have been drinking.....
They took it very hard at first, especially our middle child. He adores his father. There were lots of tears. That was three months ago. Now I think they are stronger. They're handling it very well. No more secrets. We continue to have discussions and I don't dwell on the subject, but I do encourage them to talk to me when they have questions.
My counselor brought up a very good point......if I would have continued to shelter and protect them from anything negative or challenging, they will not have the experience or the skills to cope with real world problems/issues/situations when they become adults. That really hit home to me. I was actually doing more harm than good by protecting them.
Hope this helps, Mysty.