canada1

Hey everyone,
I first joined sober recovery about a year ago. My baby girl was a few months old and I was at the end of my rope with my alcoholic/addict boyfriend. We had been together four years and had lived together for the past year and a half. My AB drank 7 days a week from 1pm until whenever he passed out at night. At his worst he was spending close to $100 a day on booze and was popping 64 percs a day. In June of 2005 I finally left. I didn'tthink I'd ever go through with it, but I did and it changed my life. I discovered a whole other world out there. With my daughter at my side, I realized that I could be happy. It was the best thing I ever did. He steadily got worse. By the end of the summer, all of our friends were convinced that he was going to die within a couple of years. He was 37. Then a miracle. In November, 2005 my AB checked himself into detox. I was stunned. I later learned that he finally realized he needed help when he realized one day that he hadn't eaten in a week. He needed help. I was cynical. I didn't believe for a second that he was going to do it. But a month later he completed detox. The doctors had confirmed our fears- had he continued with his lifestyle he would have been dead inside a year. Still I had my doubts. I knew him. He was weak. He would never do this. I continued on with my life while offering him my support veiled with disbelief. A has been in rehab for a month now and I think I am finally beginning to believe him. He is a changed man. I am still reserving complete faith in him- I have been disappointed by him more times than I can count. But he is different. I see it when I visit him in rehab. I see it when he has his weekend passes and comes around to see us. He is interested in his daughter. He is apologetic to me. I don't know if we will ever get back together, but for my daughter's sake I am so happy that he has done this. In my mind, A was a hopless case. I had given up on him. I just wanted to tell someone that. There is always a chance. We may give up, but God never does. My heart goes out to everyone of you who is still struggling with a family members addictions. I know the pain. I have felt the pain, and anger and sadness. I have cried, and screamed and done everything you have done. I will pray for you. I will pray that you can find peace and that hope will sustain you. I am not healed, but i am on my own road to recovery, to forgiveness. I wish all of you the best!