Hi Mysty......I totally relate to your situation and agree totally with all who posted.
Like you, I had sheltered my children from his alcoholism since the day they were born.....three kids ages 16, 12, 10. My now estranged---for three months---husband never drank openly at home or in front of them. We both have jobs where we travel occassionally and he would drink when he was away or when I was away on business. While we went around and around on this and he'd get sober for a little while after each episode, I never thought he would do anything to put our children at risk.
He started to sneak around and drink at home last summer. I knew he was drunk, but, like the classic compliant, never wanted to make waves, so I ignored it.
In February, I was scheduled to go on a two day business trip to NY. Before leaving, I pleaded with him to please do not drink. Two hours after my plane departed, he drove to town to pick up pizza for the kids....he was drunk enough to hit a car, leave the scene of the accident, and drive home, hysterical in front of the kis. They flipped out. My H called my father who drove to our house and took him to the police station to turn himself in.
I thank God everyday that my children were not in that car and that he didn't hurt anyone. And I also kick myself for not educating my children on alcoholism, the fact that their Dad is an A, what signs to watch for, etc. Through thistragic experience they know and it was very tough for them. They also have numbers of friends and family memorized and they know to NEVER get into his car if they suspect he's been drinking.
H has been sober for three months and we continue to be separated. Regarding the DUI....AND leaving the scene of the accident.....he got off with a deferred sentence, no jail time, no fine, a little community service AND THE HIT AND RUN charges were DROPPED. I suspect this is because he is has a high profile career and is very active in the community. Go figure.
Since this, my children have talked to me about other times when "Dad seemed strange...." and learned that on many of those "strange" times, he was behind the wheel with them in the car.
I really didn't mean to blab this much. Mysty, I understand what you are feeling. All I can say is that if I had it to do all over again I would have educated them about their Dad's illness early on. I'm very matter of fact with them. The last thing I want them to do is get into a car with him.
Take care....I'm sending positive mental thoughts your way!!!!
S