MystyDreamer,
The first thing that came to my mind is WOW! I feel for you, I really do. I can appreciate how hard this must be for you and my philosophy as far as my own kids are concerned is to go with your gut instinct. This is just my personal opinion but I think it is wise to let your children know what situation that they might be put in and how to handle it. You are just helping them help themselves. Maybe you can just tell them in a way that doesn't seem like you are attacking their father (I am sure you already do that but I know when you have resentments it is hard to hold back and you are only human). Maybe you can tell them that if they start to feel uncomfortable that it is okay to call your friend or you. Just letting them know they have other options in there situation will empower them to trust their own feelings and get themselves out of the situation. Do they have a cell phone in which they can keep with them? You never know, just having that may help you as well as them so that no matter where they are they have a way to reach someone. I hope I am helping rather than creating any more worries for you. I think kids are smart and they are more aware of their surroundings than us parents may think or desperately want to believe (I know that there has been times I wanted to believe they didn't notice some stuff!....they did) I am just trying to help....parent to parent. My heart goes out to you and I really do believe someone will watch over them. Do all you can to make yourself feel better about the situation and in knowing that maybe you can have more peace just in knowing you did all you could.
Hugs,
Alice
