Well ladies and germs, the trip to take my daughter to treatment was uh...well, let's say it just didn't go QUITE as smoothly as I had wanted.
Flight with layover was long. Daughter was just not feeling good at all, said she was 'achey' all over. Finally got to first destination to spend first night. Daughter started throwing up (sorry so graphic) at midnight and felt just awful. I called treatment place which was 2 hours away and asked could this be detoxing. They couldn't say for sure but thought not. She continued to be sick during the night, crying, feeling so badly. Got up at crack of dawn next a.m. to drive the 2 hrs to get to treatment center. Upon driving up to treatment center, she started with the throwing up and it was downhill from there. They ended up sending us to an Immediate Care facility. 1 shot of phenegran (sp?) and another shot of something else to stop the nausea didn't even TOUCH her throwing up. Doc said her throat looked awful too. She was the sickest I have ever seen her and we were only 900 miles from home!
Dr. said take her to the hospital, that she was too sick for them and she was becoming dehydrated. He said he didn't think it was detox related but couldn't say for sure. Ended up at emergency room and was there for hourssssssssssss. Gave her fluids and the throwing up FINALLY stopped but left me with a very sick and weak little girl. Took her to the hotel with me to let her recuperate. I was one scared mama during all this and just prayed a lot.
She did get to feeling better after a day and we decided to ck her into treatment on Sunday a.m. It was an okay time with the people being nice and several girls speaking to my daughter to make her feel welcomed. As I left I tried not to cry for I was and am so thankful she is there. I guess it was just having to leave her. It's a mama thing I know. She was trying to be tough but I know she was scared to death. We hugged, I told her how much we love her, and her, with her witty sense of humor said, "Just remember mama, don't drink and go to meetings." I drove off and am proud to say I did NOT fall apart. Well, not entirely anyway. So I was okay until..............(did I mention I got lost ONLY once ending up in the ghetto of downtown New Orleans as I raced back to airport only to find they had changed my flight to the WRONG NIGHT? Yes, that was me on the floor of the airport, crying "Why me, Lord? Why me?????" So yep, I had the pleasure of spending another night. A 2 day trip turned into a 5 day one! ARGGGGGGGGGH! And why was this the time I packed LIGHTLY with only 2 outfits and 2 pair of underwear??? I normally have enough clothes AND underwear to outfit the 3rd Infantry Division! But anyway, I finally got home and was doing okay until.......
Tonight she called with her one phone call for the week. She was pitiful, so sad and crying. I know it's an adjustment period for her and I almost am embarrassed to even write this here for I fear some of you will want to kick me to the curb telling me, "Suck it up Hangin'! She's in the best place!" I know that. And I tried to remind her of that, but I don't think anything (short of visit from her b/f) would have helped tonight. I did remind her that her 'present love/boyfriend' (who is a 3 1/2 years sober recovering A) told her right before she left that she had been a little (excuse my french) 'pissy' lately knowing he was relating her pissiness (is that a word?) to her using. So I said, "Hey, remember honey? Pissy? You're there to 'depiss' yourself." She KINDA chuckled. (**** is not a word I normally use but when your daugther is in treatment and crying like there is no tomorrow, you will say whatever it takes to help cheer them up...smiles.)
Ok, Al Anon training. KICK IN! I know I'm powerless and I know I can't do it for her. I just want her to get the most out of this treatment for I feel like this is 'her chance'. And if her attitude is like "I don't want to be here" then, oh gosh.
My prayer is "Please Lord, let her adjust, settle in, and realize this is the time to work on herself." If you're a praying person, would you please pray for her? And I AM thankful that I know where she is tonight, that I know that she is in a safe place, that I know she is where she can get help. My Al Anon training has at least sunk in to that point....that I know to be grateful for every good thing. It's just the crying gets to my heart. And if you're a mama, I feel sure you understand.
Thanks guys. I appreciate you lending me your shoulder.
Love,
Hangin' In