Originally Posted by
Steely 
I understand that Freedom. All seems abstract.
Did you try to provoke seizure by drinking copious water Freedom?
I see so much self destruct in you Freedom. I know I had a big dose of it too. Many here, the same.
What I’ve found is that as my sobriety built, and the decision made to give sobriety a real chance these feelings to obliterate myself began to dissipate. I began to like myself again. I began to appreciate, and actually like/love being sober. Wanted to live this crazy life …. see how it panned out sober. At least I’d be conscious. Don’t want to miss any of it, even the worst.
I wanted consciousness more than anything.
Life for me is certainly not a bowl of cherries Freedom. But it beats the crock of shite I had accustomed myself to any day of the week.
I just deliberately tried to provoke a seizure by drinking water once, in the psych ward. It was after my status was changed from voluntary to involuntary. Self harming is a common reaction to being sectioned supposedly.
Excessive water drinking is slightly miserable. You end up shivering and hugging radiators, waking up to pee ten times a night. I think the non stop fluid intake compulsion has mostly left me, I'm not drinking 2L then going for more and soon as my stomach emptied.