lucyinthegarden,
You are right. I went to a friend's tonight who got divorced last year. We weren't good friends previously - but she said she wanted to pay it forward and help me because so many helped her get through it. I told her everything - more than most of my friends know. I have a lot of friends - just not a lot who are divorced. It was so helpful to have someone who gets it. She doesn't get the alcoholic behavior - but gets that we deserve better. We only have so many years and we should spend them happy. I have been dealing with this for 8 years. It is enough.