So 3/15 he was supposed to come home that night. He called me at 3 am that he messed up and drank and couldn't drive home. that's good he was smart enough not to drive. however, I had breakfast plans on 3/16 that I had to cancel because of HIM.
Then he came home on 3/16 at 7:30 (he had said he would be home before dinner) and proceeded to text me saying I'm a liar, I only think of myself, I harm the children, I'm repulsive and disgusting and I should F off. My 8 year old heard this all because he did voice to text.
So any hopes of an amicable divorce are squashed. Ever since I started therapy, posting here, watching tik toks on narcissists/abuse/alcoholism and joining AA meetings - I have been much more calm. I may still rage - but for the time being I'm doing ok.
So I backed up his heinous texts and sent the to my lawyer and said we need to expedite this. I go off on him cheating and drinking - and when drinking he can't be a good dad - but he accused me of being a bad mother, when let's face it - I'm the stability my kids have.
I have also learned that codependency is not love. And the things he was texting me are delusional. He said I refused to tell him where our daughter was... well, you were out all night and all day - I had it under control and you never asked. That isn't refusing - if he wanted to know of course I would tell him!
I also removed him from life 360. He has always hated it and said I track him. well, when I did track him it was because something horribly wrong had happened and I'd rescue him. He paused his location on life 360. The first time i said if he does it again I'll remove him. he begged to be back on it for the kids. Well he paused it again and I removed him. He can have his own circle with the kids. It is definitely anxiety provoking for me - but I needed to rip the band aid off and stop watching out for him.
I feel very used and like I was his supply. I really think he will move on quickly with someone else.
I found this quote and I just keep reading it.
"I remember crying to my best friend 'what if I leave and he treats his next girl exactly how I've been begging him to treat me?'
and she responded with something I'll never forget: 'what if you find someone that'll give you everything without ever asking?'