No, I havent tried that. My sleep is so off now. I just get it when I can. I am so blessed being self-employed, otherwise I dont know how I would have done this.
Im glad my post touched you. I hope it was in a good way.
it makes me feel proud of myself when ya'll are proud of me. C/T is so hard that any tap on the back means ALOT.
But, truth be told, Im just a hard-headed person. Im no stronger than ya'll. I have no majic remedy I am just a hard-headed bitch that does whatever it is I set my mind too.
I was abandoned by my mother at 14 and to avoid the system I grew up and made it, somehow... looking back god knows I didnt know what I had ahead of me. But, through all of that it turned me into a very compassionate, yet ruthless person. A very good listener with an inate sense of survival that steamed from being so hard-headed that I was going to make it... that I did. With a baby boy on my hip lol.
Ya know what? Wouldnt have changed a thing. Luckily, now that I am a little older, my hard-headedness rarely gets me into trouble as it use to. I now use my power for good lol.
Being hard-headed isnt a bad thing. You just also have to be smart enough to know when it is time to shut up and listen. If I can do that, my hard-headedness works as a motivation tool rather than a negative trait.
Hopealwayz: Thank you for paying attention to me. I need attention and Im not ashamed to say it. NOONE in my family supports my decision. They think I am making the wrong decision which goes to show you how STUPID they are, yet they are trying to tell me whats best for me? Dont think so. Let them eat that **** (though they dont). I aint handing my soul over to the devil. Not anymore. Not ever again.
What worked for me is before I went C/T I started viewing my meds differently. Viewing myself lying on a sidewalk with a needle hanging out of my arm... it escalates. Im no better than anyone else. It could have come to that. I even talked to them. Told them before I flushed them, 'You are not my friend, you are the worst thing that has ever happened to me. We have been together for 10 yrs and I have all the power, not you buddy. You will no longer be a part of my life' *flush* 240 10 mil hydros.
I started viewing them as a sick, abusive relationship that I didnt deserve. I know I have ALL THE POWER because as long as I dont bend my elbow, the damn things cant drive over and jump into my mouth.
I just kept saying... I HAVE ALL THE POWER. And prayed... alot. Still am.
