babe ... even though 11 weeks clean is so AWESOME .... looking at the big life scheme of things, it is still early days in your recovery from this addiction.
I know you HAVE to work to pay the bills and such, but maybe this sort of work where its very tedious and you have only a day or so to finish it ... maybe that is NOT the type of work that will be good for you so early in your life's journey being free from Meth.
This should be a time where you are taking it as easy as possible ... not putting too much stress on yourself ... not working yourself into the ground!
For a long time, your body will need to adjust to being without that instant chemical rush and false energy that Meth gave you. You will definitely be needing to catch up on alot of sleep! Think of how long you were using Meth for? And in that time, how often (and how many days on end) would you go without sleep?!?
That's a HELL of alot of time that your body was depreived of the rest it needed ..... and unfortunately, it will take a while for your body to return to some sort of regular sleep, rest and wake cycle of its own without chemical assistance.
Please .... take the time to have a really good think whether realistically, that this is the sort of work that you have to do! Do you need to take on as many jobs as you have got going right now? Can you do something else for a while? Are you financially stable enough for now, to try to space out the jobs in order to give yourself breaks in between?
Although I am heartened that you are now getting the work that you wanted ... and also that you are still standing firm in your resolve not to fall back into the Meth trap, but I am still quite worried about you babe!
Putting this pressure on yourself .... having the pressure of work deadlines ..... feeling tired and not having time to fully rest .... doing work that can be quite repetitive at times ....
These are all such big triggers for you to want to use, that I am concerned that you are still quite vulnerable to relapse with all this pressure, despite the fact that you've done so well so far!
People go into rehabs for months in order to get well, but also as a way of staying in a safe environment that is free from life's day to day pressures .... and often, people recovering from addictions will also stay off work for at least a year before they feel able to cope with that kind of stress!
You are basically on your own in real life ... hardly anyone that you have physical contact with in your real life, knows what you are going through right now .... you have no rehab ... you havent been through a professional detox ... hey! - even your counsellor isnt even aware of your struggles in this regard!!
I know you have to work to pay bills ... and being able to be financially secure and get out of debt will help to EASE your stress, but I am concerned that you are trying to do it all at once and are taking on way too much too quickly .... and without any RL support!!
I just hope there is an end to all of this stress for you soon babe.
You know I am here and will help in whatever way I can.
Thinking about you xxx