JT - yes, I know. Although my daughter did not go through the things that I did, she's certainly had her fair share. I was far from a perfect parent and it makes my stomach do a G-force roll whenever I think that I have probably damaged her in some ways. However, I guess I have to treat myself as kindly as possible here, and apply the same logic to myself as I do to my own parents: They were doing the best that they knew how, especially given the wounds that they suffered as children - far worse than mine. The horrors that my parents suffered, and I do mean horrors, make me cry. And I don't even know the half of it.
It hurts to think about my daughter - more than it hurts to think about myself. In my parent's time, there was no such term as "inner child." There is now, and help is available in numerous forms. I try to point my daughter towards the tools that I think might help her, and that's really all I can do. That, and say that I'm sorry and mean it. Oh, and to always let her know how much I love her.
Avoidance due to having to face my daughter's demons too hadn't occurred to me, but it's an interesting theory.
Love and hugs.