I’m an engineer too, TWTOM. I did try and have a career at first, but I get bored with meetings, people saying pointless things and also people trying to use egos. I felt that way long before I got hooked on drink. So I just do freelance now. Saying that, engineers my age (54) do get employed so presumably want a career. Isn’t it something you could do?
Each to their own, but I think there’s more to life than work, which is just a means to an end after all. I feel I missed out on relationships mainly and also making plans. I did/do travel luckily, but I’ll admit I’m not happy to have got divorced, and drinking played a huge part in that.