I've done lots of things I regret drunk Peke.
I bet this TikTokker has too, and a lot of FBers, Redditors etc etc
Its part and parcel of being an alcoholic.
But...I have to remember and appreciate I've done lots of good things sober.
I can't change the things that happened then but they invade my thoughts less and less every sober year.
That was then - this is now.
I cant change the past anymore than you can - but I can live in my present and make plans for my future.
I really hope you'll decide to do that too
D